I Don't Friend You

Been pondering over this for the longest time. I've covered it once before but I'm just.. pondering over it again. Aiyah I think too much for my own good, I know. I've been told a gazillion times over already.

Okay let's say you don't like someone right, like really don't like close to hate but not hate because hate is too strong a word to use in this context.. there's a few ways you can handle it, yes?

One way is to be completely honest with them, and tell them to their face how much you despise them. Let them know so that you know, at least when you're bitching about them at the back, you're not a hypocrite or a backstabbing douchebag. Afterall, you already told them in the face exactly what you're not happy with, and you're just "sharing experiences" with others.

And then there's the superficial, fake crap that some people might think of as being "mature". You don't like somebody, but you still talk to them. You patronise them when they talk to you. In my opinion, I don't see the point. If you don't like somebody, why do you even take out 1% from your effort bank to even bother? You could've spent that 1% on someone who you actually give a shit about.

I don't think that's being "mature" per se, I just think that's being very patronising and giving pity. I don't know what the reason would be for the latter, but maybe it could be because he doesn't have a lot of friends, but you don't like him and you feel bad for him and you wanna be there.

Please give him a break.

I think if I was on the receiving end I'd feel damn low about myself. If you really want to be "mature," why don't you talk things out and tell him exactly what it is you don't like about him, that's causing him to be socially inapt? That way you become a better friend and you'll learn to like him anyway. It's a win-win situation, no?

But alas, that's just one in a gazillion examples out there.

Here's another extreme end of the spectrum: The Hi-How-Are-You-Okay-Bye Friend. You walk into a club with a bunch of friends, and then you see an acquaintance who you don't like, hanging out with your other friends that you're supposed to meet. Do you, A) Ignore, B) Acknowledge with a nod, a smile, a wave or any other gesture, or C) Hug them really tight and ask them how they are before descending into a drunken stupor?

My guess your answer would be C.

Sure, you don't wanna make things awkward for everybody so you stoop down to a level that isn't exactly you to ease up the tension. Nobody wants a party pooper. But did it ever occur to you that your acquaintance/friend is only one person out of the whole group, where the majority is YOUR friends? So it really doesn't matter whether you ignore or not. Just, I don't see the point okay.

If you managed to read up till here, you'll probably be pondering over whether I'm an anti-social freak of nature human-loathing guy. I'm actually pretty much the opposite. It takes a lot for me to dislike somebody, and this issue, this thought, sentiment.. whatever you wanna call it, has been on my mind for the longest time, so I'm just putting it out there.

I usually don't believe in being nice to someone I don't like just for the sake of it. I don't see the point, so I just ignore. I remember cutting off a friend in some point in my life a few years ago. I saw her the other day on the MRT, and she was right in front of me and I just turned the other cheek.